Forgiveness

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness recently. It's one of those things that sounds great in theory, forgive and forget as it's said, but should actually take much more thought than that. They say forgiving someone who did you wrong is for your peace of mind rather than for them. If that's true, it doesn't really matter if they know you've forgiven them or not. Unless of course you forgive them and decide to tell them so. But in some cases, those people are already out of your lives and it is better to keep them there. There's no reason to keep negative people in your life, and I've yet to meet someone who actually, genuinely cared enough about the person they hurt to change themselves for the better. Bad habits are hard to break and unfortunately negative people tend to gravitate toward the drama their negativity creates.

I've let go of a fair share of negative people, and I've come to varying amounts of forgiveness for each of them. However, after the hurt and pain washed away, each time I learned I was better off without them. My light shone brighter when I released all the turmoil they caused in my life, and once you're on the other side of the murk, there's not much temptation to go back in.

The main emotion I feel after it all is sympathy. I feel bad that I couldn't help them past themselves, but I'm learning it's not up to someone else. It's up to them and them alone. And most people don't have the courage to do what it takes to change and better themselves. They let fear and anxiety consume them. Instead of wasting your happiness on someone who takes advantage of you, do what you need to do for your own happiness.

The best thing about leaving behind negative people is the opportunity it creates to find positive influences. In one case, the turnaround was within a couple of months. It was literally as if one door opened after the other closed. And I am so grateful for the person behind that door.